Overcoming Perfectionism

We live in a world where the pace of life is phenomenal. We have to work harder, faster, more efficiently, longer hours and with less job security than ever before. This environment is a very difficult one for the perfectionist, who is driven not so much by the desire for success, but by the fear of failure and need for control. They have unrealistic expectations of themselves (possibly others too) and feel they can never achieve enough and never be good enough. They feel unable to bask in the pleasure of achievement or really enjoy their relationships.

I hope this book will give you a real insight into the subject, and help you understand yourself and others better. You will learn how to think differently and how to behave differently. With this increased self-awareness, a real desire to change and some tools to help you, you can overcome crippling perfectionism.

Preface

We live in a world where the pace of life is phenomenal. We have to work harder, faster, more efficiently, longer hours and with less job security than ever before. This environment is a very difficult one for the perfectionist, who is driven not so much by the desire for success, but by the fear of failure and need for control. They have unrealistic expectations of themselves (possibly others too) and feel they can never achieve enough and never be good enough. They feel unable to bask in the pleasure of achievement or really enjoy their relationships.

I hope this book will give you a real insight into the subject, and help you understand yourself and others better. You will learn how to think differently and how to behave differently. With this increased self-awareness, a real desire to change and some tools to help you, you can overcome crippling perfectionism.

Content

1. Introduction
2. What is Perfectionism?
   1. What do we mean by the term ‘perfectionism’?
3. The Healthy Achiever vThe Perfectionist
   1. The Development of Perfectionism
   2. Parental Influence
   3. Gifted Children
   4. The Need for Control
   5. Obsessions and Compulsions
4. The Different Types of Perfectionism
   1. General Personality Traits of the Perfectionist
5. How Much of a Perfectionist are You?
   1. Assessing Your Perfectionism
   2. Costs versus Benefits
   3. Cost Benefit Assessment
6. The Effect of Perfectionism on our Lives
   1. The Drive for Achievement
   2. Body Image and Health
   3. Social Life
   4. Relationships
7. Stress, Worry and Anxiety
   1. Perfectionism and Stress
   2. Perfectionism, Worry and Anxiety
8. Perfectionism at Work
   1. How Does Perfectionism Show Itself at Work?
   2. Perfectionism and Leadership
   3. Changing Your Perfectionistic Thinking
   4. How our Beliefs Develop
   5. Irrational Thinking
   6. Changing Thinking Habits
   7. Modifying your ‘Demanding’ Thinking
   8. Thought Stopping
   9. Accepting your Fallibility!
9. Changing Your Behaviour
   1. Becoming desensitised
   2. Becoming Less Driven
   3. Improving your Communication
   4. Dealing with criticism
   5. Stop Procrastinating, Start Prioritising
   6. Making Decisions
   7. Reclaiming your Life
10. Strategies for Life
    1. Enjoying Your Work
    2. Becoming a More Effective Leader
    3. Working for a Perfectionist
    4. Improving your Relationships
    5. Overcoming social anxiety
    6. Living with a Perfectionist
11. References